Quiet quitting among young people: when withdrawal is not laziness but a sign that something is wrong

Young people who stop suggesting ideas, avoid extra tasks, take less and less part in team activities or do only what is explicitly asked of them are often described as uninterested or short on motivation. Behind that behaviour, however, there may be a process known as “quiet quitting”: a silent withdrawal from active participation in work, volunteering or other organised activities.

Quiet quitting does not mean a young person is actually leaving the job, the organisation or the project. It is a gradual reduction of personal engagement to the necessary minimum. The person still carries out the basic duties, but no longer shows initiative, no longer puts in extra effort, and grows emotionally distant from their role.

Although the phrase became popular through social media, the behaviour it describes is not new. It is tied to a long-standing sense of being overloaded, to a lack of recognition, unclear expectations, the absence of good feedback, and the belief that extra effort will be neither noticed nor valued.

Quiet quitting is not the same as laziness

One of the most important messages of the handbook “STAY Handbook – A Practical Guide for Youth Workers on Recognising, Understanding and Responding to Quiet Quitting” is that quiet quitting should not automatically be read as laziness or poor work habits.

In many cases it is a form of self-protection. When demands continually outstrip the available time, energy, support and room to grow, a young person starts guarding what capacity is left by withdrawing from everything that is not essential. That reaction is especially likely if they do not know what is expected of them, if they get no feedback, or if they see neither purpose nor a way forward in what they do.

The handbook points out that younger generations place great weight on meaningful work, personal development, autonomy, alignment between the organisation’s values and their own, and the sense that their contribution has a real effect. These are not unrealistic expectations, but factors that strongly shape motivation and the decision to stay involved.

The problem arises when young people cannot clearly express what they need, while the organisations and the people leading them do not recognise the first signs of withdrawal.

How to recognise the first signs

Quiet quitting rarely happens all at once. It develops gradually, through a series of small changes that may each look insignificant. A young person may stop taking part in discussions, offer suggestions less often, avoid feedback, communicate less with the team, or start drifting away from activities that used to matter to them.

What matters most is the change compared with how the person behaved before. One bad day or a temporary dip in energy does not mean someone is withdrawing. Repeated changes, a loss of interest, no initiative, and a sense of relief when responsibilities are taken away can point to something deeper.

The handbook therefore offers tools that help youth workers, mentors and organisations tell ordinary swings in motivation from patterns that call for a conversation and extra support. Particular attention goes to young people with fewer opportunities, who may be more exposed to feeling invisible and excluded because of discrimination, language barriers, disability, financial difficulty or other circumstances.

From silent withdrawal to an open conversation

The point of support is not to convince a young person that they simply have to work more. They need help to recognise what is happening, say what they need, and find a sustainable way of taking part that does not put their wellbeing at risk.

The handbook sets out four practical communication skills: naming the problem without blaming, setting boundaries without guilt, asking for feedback before withdrawing altogether, and asking for help in good time.

A young person can learn to say that expectations are unclear to them, that the current workload is not sustainable, or that they need more specific feedback. Simple sentences like these can open a conversation before frustration hardens into lasting disengagement.

Setting a boundary is not the same as withdrawing. A healthy boundary is stated clearly and makes continued, good participation possible. Quiet quitting appears more often where boundaries, needs and difficulties go unspoken for a long time.

A practical tool for youth work organisations

The handbook is meant not only for understanding the term but for using it in everyday work with young people. It holds methods for individual and group work, conversation scenarios, exercises, structured workshops and guidance on recognising situations where additional professional support is needed.

Among the suggested activities are anonymously identifying behaviours participants have stopped practising, assessing one’s own energy level, analysing the messages about work that circulate on social media, and drawing a personal map of values and of the conditions needed to take part properly.

The handbook also stresses that youth work organisations should build a culture in which it is safe to talk about difficulties. Short regular conversations, a clear division of responsibility, accessible support and known referral routes can keep a young person from spending months unhappy without anyone noticing.

Organisations do not have to set up complex new systems straight away. A consistent weekly check-in, someone responsible for following up on support, clearly defined steps and a list of available contacts can be enough of a basis for noticing early and responding well.

The key message of the handbook is that a young person should not be left alone in a gradual withdrawal. A question asked in time, a safe conversation, or support from someone who noticed the change early can stop temporary frustration from turning into a lasting loss of motivation and connection.

The handbook was produced as part of the STAY project